Photo by Britney Gardner of Turn Loose the Art.

There is no denying how important music is in our daily lives—one need only walk down the street to see scores of people, ear buds in place, listening to their favorite songs. From movie soundtracks to muzak in public places, music of all varieties envelope our daily activities. And reams of academic research confirm what we all know: music elevates our mood and makes us more productive. Yet, I sometimes regret that relatively little attention is paid to the musical aspect of the wedding ceremony; I suspect that the focus of the day’s music is placed on the reception. In any event, I like to remind my couples that we can make the ceremony even more special if we creatively consider music for the ceremony.

There are wonderful options for wedding music, regardless of the size or location of a wedding ceremony. For larger affairs, couples consider both recorded music with a DJ and live music performed by all sorts of individual musicians or ensembles. The particular selections for processional and recessional options are bound only by our imaginations. And, while at first blush, it would seem that music is not possible or necessary for an elopement or small outdoor ceremony, I disagree!

I have started to bringing my IPod and portable speaker to outside elopement ceremonies so that music can be played before, during and/or after the ceremony. I do my best to see if couples have particular artists or songs that they prefer. (Recent requests have ranged from the Beatles to Eva Cassidy…) Otherwise, I have a long playlist that serves any couple quite nicely. If there is a desire for live music, I am happy to locate and secure musicians from guitar players to bag pipers. I recently officiated a Central Park wedding for the stunning Candice and Dan, who came to America to marry, from Australia. While we had discussed certain selections that would be appropriate for Candice’s processional across the Gapstow Bridge, I made an impromptu decision that pleased the couple. As we set up the ceremony, I noticed an older gentleman playing various tunes on his alto saxophone—a street performer if you will. I invited him to be a part of our wedding ceremony and offered a nominal fee for his services. And, so, our new Russian friend played jazz tunes and wedding standards that really enhanced the celebratory atmosphere.

So, brides and grooms, I say to you—don’t forget that fantastic musical additions can be made to the wedding ceremony….ones that do not require extraordinary planning or expense!

p.s. There was another way in which music touched this super-romantic ceremony: prior to the wedding, I met up with Candice at her hotel where she was having her hair and make-up done. The bridal suite, always a festive environment, was even more so as the bride played a special CD of songs, prepared by her loving sister. The CD contained a bunch of sentimental favorites that touched the bride, and her Celebrant, too!

It was a pleasure working with Joe & Britney from Turn Loose the Art Photography.  They took amazing photographs of this sweet wedding.

It has been an exciting year! I offer a heartfelt congratulations to all of my brides and grooms. I have had the honor of marrying over 100 couples in 2010. Most of my weddings have been in New York City, but I have officiated ceremonies in the entire Tri-state area–from Connecticut to New Jersey to Westchester. And I have seen what feels like every inch of New York’s very “long” Long Island. As New York has become one of the most popular spots for Destination Weddings, I have been happy to serve brides and grooms from many American states (Ohio, California, Kentucky, Maryland, Minnesota, Texas, and Indiana, to name a few) as well as folks from England, Ireland, Northern Ireland, Australia, Germany, Denmark, Dubai, the Netherlands, and Scotland. I thank you all for sharing your special day with me and look forward to staying in touch.

The following slide show, prepared by my young colleague Noemie, includes photos of most of my couples. And, the couple at the beginning of this post is Rebekah and Matthew, a lovely bride and groom from Edmonton, Alberta. With the historic blizzard of the past week, they rearranged their simple flight to NYC, flying instead to Toronto and taking the “Maple Leaf” Amtrak down to the City. Their journey was over 30 hours in length. Meanwhile, their dedicated officiant (that would be me!), made her way from Budapest, Hungary to Prague, Czech Republic, to NYC’s Upper East Side. We had a lovely, sweet romantic ceremony on the Gapstow Bridge in Central Park. Many tourists stopped by to watch and savor the romance, on a sparkling winter’s day. So Congratulations, one and all. Peace and all good things in 2011!

As a Celebrant I strive to recognize the most important parts of the lives of brides and grooms into their personalized ceremonies. The narrative—an essay chronicling the relationship of the couple—is one of the hallmarks of a celebrant wedding, and it provides a wonderful opportunity to weave the threads of life into a wonderful, one-of-a-kind, compelling rendering of two people falling in love. When getting to know a couple, it is a delicious discovery of who they are that helps develop that perfect wedding.

I recently married a couple that offered some rich choices in writing. Maria and Paul came to me a few weeks ago, wanting to marry on St. Patrick’s day in Central Park, a favorite venue of last-minute unions. Paul, a dashing native of Belfast Northern Ireland, wanted to get married on this day, not only for its cultural significance, but because it was his beloved late grandfather’s birth date. The festivities of this important NYC holiday provided a unique backdrop for a celebration.

Maria, too, came with a fabulously interesting life story. A native Texan, she came to New York as a teenager, to train as a ballet dancer at The School of American Ballet, associated with the New York City Ballet. An international career in dance and a stint at the Dance Theatre of Harlem, were evident in her statuesque figure, grace, and elegance. Maria’s passion gave me an ideal chance to incorporate a favorite wedding passage by Anne Marrow Lindbergh. The reading compares the choreography of a happy marriage with the ease of dance:

“A good relationship has a pattern like a dance and is built on some of the same rules. The partners do not need to hold on tightly, because they move confidently in the same pattern, intricate, but gay and swift and free, like a country dance of the Mozart’s. To touch heavily would be to arrest the pattern and freeze the movement, to check the endlessly changing beauty of its unfolding.”

Congratulations to my splendid international couple! In the words of a recent pop tune, “I hope You’ll Dance……,” for the remainder of your days!

p.s. One of those quintessential NYC wedding moments took place when Paul, the groom, convinced a gifted “street musician” (a classical cellist) to re-locate from the Bethesda Fountain to the Bethesda Terrace, where we hosted the ceremony, and provide the wedding music (for a small donation, of course!). The celebration was enjoyed by all!

As a Celebrant — not simply a wedding officiant — I strive to personalize each of “my” wedding ceremonies, regardless of time constraints or other challenges. With a short turnaround time and other logistical issues, it isn’t always easy to create the unique, detailed ceremonies that move the bride and groom and their guests. But, “I do the best I can….” A couple of weeks ago, I was contacted by an anxious young groom, looking to marry his beautiful Mexican bride in short order. Although they planned a large, religious ceremony in Central America in a few months, for legal issues they needed to conduct a civil ceremony here in New York. As has been the case, lately, he requested a wedding ceremony in the “Ladies’ Pavilion” in Central Park.

The bride and groom were joined by about a dozen loved ones, including members of the bride’s family from Mexico. I gleaned as much of the couple’s story as possible and incorporated those details into the ceremony script. Also, the vows were exchanged bilingually. But, I wanted to do “more” to shine a lot on the significance of the Bride’s home and culture. The couple, after all, had met in Mexico. With only a short time before the gathering, I did some quick research and added a couple of light-hearted elements that—while not exactly a perfect replication of the Mexican traditions—provided a cultural nod to the bride’s family and a few special moments at the wedding.

For instance, in a Mexican wedding, it is customary for the groom to give his bride a wedding present of 13 gold coins, which are blessed by the Priest. The gesture represents the idea of shared prosperity and the groom’s commitment to care for his new wife. Instead, I connected with this tradition by bringing 13 coins in a small fabric bag and presenting it to the bride and groom, as a remembrance of our time together. Among the coins, which I had collected from my own international travels, were ones from various Central American countries. The bride and groom smiled brightly as I passed the memento.

Also, I learned that immediately following a Mexican wedding, the guests surround the bride and groom (standing side-by-side, forming the shape of a heart) as they take their first dance. For our bride and groom, the guests surrounded the couple in a semi-circle and took a vow of community support during the final portion of the ceremony. This vow reminds the couple that these people will support and nurture them through their marriage, the joys, as well as the trials.

I wish my couple well and hope that these little ceremony gestures provided some small, fun—but respective—connections to the bride’s home.

As a Life-Cycle Celebrant, my role is not only to acknowledge life’s celebrations and rites of passage, but to provide ceremonies of healing. Weddings, civil unions, and commitment ceremonies provide countless opportunities for underscoring the joy of shared lives and the promises of the future. Even vow renewals are happy occasions marking a milestone anniversary. Today, I performed a vow renewal that was a bit of both—a ritual built around healing and celebration.

A few days ago, I was contacted be a fellow from upstate New York. He asked simply if I would perform a vow renewal for him and his wife. I was happy to help and began preparations for a ceremony at dusk, in Central Park. Because we played phone and email “tag,” I wasn’t entirely clear about the ceremony—was this for a wedding anniversary? Some other important day? It was only after we spoke a bit about the specifics of the renewal did he reveal that the couple had been married about four years ago. For most of the third year of their marriage, they were separated. They had recently reunited and were attempting to repair their damaged relationship. So, here we stood in the crisp, snowy park—just the three of us—saying powerful words about renewal, forgiveness, and starting a new chapter in life. In their faces, I felt I could see pain, forgiveness, hope, and fear. My hope as a Celebrant is that this short moment in time provided a bit of healing, encouragement, and a fond memory. Seeing relationships and marriages in peril makes me want to renew my personal vows every day. As I left the Park, I thought about the crocus flowers that are just beneath the blanket of snow…something to look forward to, indeed.

One of the great things about a Celebrant-led wedding is that the ceremony can be breathtaking and spectacular in unexpected ways. Lately, it seems, there is an emerging interest in so-called theme weddings. The possibilities for these gatherings are only limited by the imagination. Whether a costume ball for a Halloween wedding or an outdoor ceremony reflecting the bride and groom’s fascination with Medieval history, theme weddings can be a breath of fresh air for the couple, guests, and even the officiant.

I was fortunate enough to participate in a themed-type event on Christmas Eve. For those who haven’t been to New York City during the holidays, it is hard to convey just how magical it is. Even during the challenging days of the recession, the retailers, city officials and others, bring out the finest holiday decorations, as they have for so many years. Fifth Avenue, a world class shopping area, has absolutely spectacular decorations from the window displays at Saks Fifth Avenue to the Cartier Jewelry Store, festively wrapped as a package. For blocks and blocks, one will see lights and adornments that, as far as I know, are simply unmatched in other grand cities around the world. Walking north on Fifth Avenue, one will eventually bump into Central Park—always lovely—is especially stunning when blanketed in snow. The crown jewel of the holiday decorations is most certainly Rockefeller Plaza, perfectly placed in midtown Manhattan. With the enormous Christmas tree, skating rink, life-sized nutcrackers, and 50+ waving flags in red, green and gold, the Plaza will turn even the most hardened holiday scrooge into a jolly soul.

On Christmas Eve, Karina and Nick, a lovely young couple from Ohio, harnassed the holiday exuberance at Rockefeller Plaza into a late afternoon wedding ceremony. It was a real delight. Karina, a naturally pretty woman, looked like a winter princess. She wore a beautifully designed strapless white wedding dress with all of the beading and sparkles of a new bride. On her head sat a crystal tiara that would do the Swarovski Company proud. Draped around her shoulders was a custom-made hooded holiday cape—cherry red with white fur trimming. Her bouquet, made in England, included a bundle of winter berries. Even the groom sported a blazing red shirt under his black suit. I was in the spirit with my own red dress.

While the couple planned a private ceremony at the Plaza promenade, with the tree prominently in the background, I knew it would be anything but “private.” Passers-by love to see weddings—always, anytime, and anywhere. And for tourists lucky enough to be in New York for the holiday, a romantic wedding in front of the world’s most famous Christmas Tree is a feast for the eyes and the heart. Those in the area gathered around to be a part of “our” wedding. I could literally see the twinkle in a number of eyes. No doubt these were people renewing their own wedding vows, privately in their hearts. At the end of our sweet ceremony, a tourist and police officer served as our witnesses. The bride and groom were swept away to take photographs at landmarks including St. Patrick’s Cathedral. They completed their evening with a carriage ride around Central Park and dinner at the famed Tavern on the Green. Our couple has returned to family and friends in Ohio, but I know they will cherish their fairy tale wedding for the rest of their lives.

Photograph courtesy of Laura Pennace Photography.